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The famous food-seduction scene
(brilliantly acted out in the film Tom
Jones)
Fielding finds the combination of
lust, greed and hunger so complex that he calls upon the classicial Graces to
describe the weapons now used to captivate the heart of Mr. Tom Jones.
"First,
from two lovely blue eyes, whose bright orbs flashed lightning at their
discharge, flew forth two pointed ogles. But happily for our heroe, hit only a
vast piece of beef which he was then conveying into his plate, and harmless
spent their force. The fair warrior perceived their miscarriage, and
immediately from her fair bosom drew forth a deadly sigh. A sigh, which none
could have heard unmoved, and which was sufficient at once to have swept off a
dozen beaus; so soft, so sweet, so tender, that the insinuating air must have
found its subtle way to the heart of our heroe, had it not luckily been driven
from his ears by the coarse bubbling of some bottled ale, which at that time he
was pouring forth. Many other weapons did she assay; but the God of Eating (if
there be any such deity; for I do not confidently assert it) preserved his
votary; or perhaps it may not be dignus vindice nodus, and the present
security of Jones may be accounted for by natural means: for as love frequently
preserves from the attacks of hunger, so may hunger possibly, in some cases,
defend us against love.
"The
fair one, enraged at her frequent disappointments, determined on a short
cessation of arms. Which interval she employed in making ready every engine of
amorous warfare for the renewing of the attack, when dinner should be over.
"No
sooner then was the cloth removed, than she again began her operations. First,
having planted her right eye sideways against Mr. Jones, she shot from its
corner a most penetrating glance; which, tho' great part of its force was
spent before it reached our heroe, did not vent itself absolutely without
effect. This the fair one perceiving, hastily withdrew her eyes, and leveled
them downwards as if she was concerned for what she had done: tho' by this
means she designed only to draw him from his guard, and indeed to open his
eyes, through which she intended to surprize his heart. And now, gently lifting
up those two bright orbs which had already begun to make an impression on poor
Jones, she discharged a volley of small charms at once from her whole
countenance in a smile. Not a smile of mirth, nor of joy; but a smile of
affection, which most ladies have always ready at their command, and which
serves them to show at once their goodhumour, their pretty dimples, and their
white teeth.
"This
smile our heroe received full in his eyes, and was immediately staggered with
its force. He then began to see the designs of the enemy, and indeed to feel
their success. A parley now was set on foot between the parties; during which
the artful fair so slily and imperceptibly carried on her attack, that she had
almost subdued the heart of our heroe, before she again repaired to acts of
hostility. To confess the truth, I am afraid Mr. Jones maintained a kind of
Dutch defence, and treacherously delivered up the garrison, without duly
weighing his allegiance to the fair Sophia. In short, no sooner had the amorous
parley ended, and the lady had unmasked the royal battery, by carelessly
letting her handkerchief drop from her neck, than the heart of Mr. Jones was
entirely taken, and the fair conqueror enjoyed the usual fruits of her
victory."
Here the
graces think proper to end their description, and here we think proper to end
the chapter.
Sophia, running away from home
(and, reluctantly, from Tom Jones) bumps into her cousin at a travellers’
inn. Then a gentleman arrives, in
search of the cousin, and insists the landlord announce his presence to her.
It may
perhaps be wondered at, that the waiting-woman herself was not the messenger
employed on this occasion; but we are sorry to say, she was not at present
qualified for that, or indeed for any other office. The rum (for so the
landlord chose to call the distillation from malt) had basely taken the
advantage of the fatigue which the poor woman had undergone, and had made
terrible depredations on her noble faculties, at a time when they were very
unable to resist the attack.
We shall
not describe this tragical scene too fully; but we thought ourselves
obliged by that historic integrity which we possess, shortly to hint at
a matter which we would otherwise have been glad to have spared. Many
historians indeed, for want of this integrity, or of diligence, so say no
worse, often leave the reader to find out these little circumstances in the
dark, and sometimes to his great confusion and perplexity.
Sophia was
very soon eased of her causeless fright by the entry of the noble peer, who was
not only an intimate acquaintance of Mrs. Fitzpatrick, but in reality a very
particular friend of that lady. To say truth, it was by his assistance, that
she had been enabled to escape from her husband; for this nobleman had the same
gallant disposition with those renowned knights, of whom we read in heroic story,
and had delivered many an imprisoned nymph from durance. He was indeed as
bitter an enemy to the savage authority too often exercised by husbands and
fathers, over the young and lovely of the other sex, as ever knight-errant was
to the barbarous power of enchanters: nay, to say truth, I have often suspected
that those very enchanters with which romance every where abounds, were in
reality no other than the husbands of those days; and matrimony itself was
perhaps the enchanted castle in which the nymphs were said to be confined.
This
nobleman had an estate in the neighbourhood of Fitzpatrick, and had been for
some time acquainted with the lady. No sooner therefore did he hear of her
confinement, than he earnestly applied himself to procure her liberty; which he
presently effected, not by storming the castle, according to the example of
ancient heroes; but by corrupting the governor, in conformity with the modern
art of war; in which craft is held to be preferable to valour; and gold is
found to be more irresistible than either lead or steel.
This
circumstance, however, as the lady did not think it material enough to relate
to her friend, we would not at that time impart it to the reader. We rather
chose to leave him a while under a supposition, that she had found, or coined,
or by some very extraordinary, perhaps supernatural means, had possessed
herself of the money with which she had bribed her keeper, than to interrupt
her narrative by giving a hint of what seemed to her of too little importance
to be mentioned.
The peer, after a short
conversation, could not forbear expressing some surprize at meeting the lady
in that place; nor could he refrain from telling her, he imagined she had been
gone to Bath. Mrs. Fitzpatrick very freely answered, "That she had been
prevented in her purpose by the arrival of a person she need not mention."
"In short," says she, "I was overtaken by my husband (for I need
not affect to conceal what the world knows too well already). I had the good
fortune to escape in a most surprizing manner, and am now going to London with
this young lady, who is a near relation of mine, and who hath escaped from as
great a tyrant as my own."
His
lordship concluding that this tyrant was likewise a husband, made a speech full
of compliments to both the ladies, and as full of invectives against his own
sex; nor indeed did he avoid some oblique glances at the matrimonial institution
itself, and at the unjust powers given by it to man over the more sensible, and
more meritorious part of the species. He ended his oration with an offer of his
protection, and of his coach and six, which was instantly accepted by Mrs. Fitzpatrick,
and at last, upon her persuasions, by Sophia.
Matters
being thus adjusted; his lordship took his leave, and the ladies retired to
rest, where Mrs. Fitzpatrick entertained her cousin with many high encomiums on
the character of the noble peer, and enlarged very particularly on his great
fondness for his wife; saying, she believed he was almost the only person of
high rank, who was entirely constant to the marriage bed. "Indeed,"
added she, "my dear Sophy, that is a very rare virtue
amongst men of condition. Never expect it when you marry; for,
believe me, if you do, you will certainly be deceived,"
[Sophia Is saved from ruin, but Mrs Fitzpatrick manages to get
seduced by his lordship]
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